When traveling, it’s essential to understand the cultural nuances that come with each destination, especially when it comes to dining. In France, for instance, café culture has its own set of unwritten rules. Unlike in some countries where servers might approach you the moment you sit down, in Paris, you might have to make eye contact with a waiter to signal that you’re ready to order. Additionally, each waiter is typically assigned specific tables, meaning you may need to wait for “your” waiter to become available.
I’ve had many wonderful experiences in Parisian cafés, but I’ve also encountered moments that left me feeling uncomfortable—specifically, times when I felt completely ignored. Despite waiting patiently and trying to catch a waiter’s eye, no one would come to take my order. Initially, I assumed they were just busy, but then I noticed something else: waiters chatting amongst themselves or serving customers who had arrived after me. I even wondered if it was because of my appearance as an Asian, which made me feel not only frustrated but also saddened by the possibility of discrimination.
Faced with this situation, I realized I had two options. The first was to never return to that café and try my luck elsewhere. But that seemed exhausting, especially if I encountered the same issue repeatedly. The second option was to change my approach—something I learned in Paris that has proven to be incredibly effective. I’d like to share this strategy with you, in case you ever find yourself in a similar situation.
Here’s what to do: If you find yourself waiting endlessly for service, take a deep breath and shift your focus. Pull out a book or your laptop and start reading or working. Immerse yourself in your own world. In my experience, this simple act usually prompts the waiter to approach you quite quickly. My theory is that from a business perspective, they don’t want patrons occupying a table for long periods without ordering. The key is to project an attitude that says, “It’s fine if you don’t take my order—I’m perfectly happy using this space for free.”
To ensure you’re comfortable while waiting, I recommend carrying a small bottle of water and a snack in your bag. This way, you won’t get too hungry or thirsty if the wait drags on. And if the waiter never comes? At least you’ve had a moment of relaxation and can move on without feeling too disappointed.
So, the next time you feel ignored in a café, try this method before letting frustration or sadness take over. It might just turn the experience around for you! 😉
