Imagine this: you’re at a welcome party in a foreign country. You don’t know anyone, and the people around you are chatting away in a language you’re not fluent in. You want to join in, but it feels overwhelming. You’re afraid of standing awkwardly by yourself and missing the chance to connect with new people.
Even if you gather the courage to start a conversation, it might feel like hitting a dead end after exchanging names. The dreaded silence falls. You both glance around awkwardly, and eventually, they start talking to someone else.
Sound familiar? Starting conversations in a new environment can be intimidating, but don’t worry—This is the post to help! This post is for anyone who:
- Is starting a new life in a different country
- Is joining new social groups or events
- Wants to make friends and network in unfamiliar settings
By the end, you’ll have the tools to feel confident and even enjoy conversations in these situations!
- Why Starting Conversations in a New Place Is Tough
- How to Expand Conversations with Open-Ended Questions
- Emotions Leave a Lasting Impression
- Summary
Why Starting Conversations in a New Place Is Tough
When we meet new people, we often put too much pressure on ourselves. We focus on saying the “right” thing or leaving a good impression. As a result, our attention is on ourselves instead of the person we’re talking to. Thoughts like “What should I say?”, “What if they don’t like me?”, or “Is my face okay?” take over, and we forget to listen or engage naturally. Sometimes, we even interrupt or dominate the conversation without meaning to.
Everyone has a unique story. Shift your focus from yourself to the person you’re speaking with—it makes all the difference!
How to Expand Conversations with Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions are the secret to natural conversations! These are questions that:
- Allow the other person to respond freely.
- Often begin with what, why, or how.
- Encourage sharing thoughts, feelings, or experiences
In contrast, closed questions can usually be answered with just “yes,” “no,” or a single word. While closed questions have their place, open-ended questions keep the conversation flowing.
Here are examples tailored to different situations:
in abroad
- Take Advantage of the Common Environment
- Ask About Daily Life
- Seek Advice on Their Expertise
- Compare Past and Present
- Mix Their Expertise with Current Topics
- Go a Little Deeper into Their Life
Take Advantage of the Common Environment
In the beginning of a conversation, it feels more natural to ask general questions rather than diving into personal topics. Since you and the person you’re speaking with are in the same setting, you already have something in common. Use this shared context to your advantage!
Examples:
- “What motivated you to join this event?”
- “What did you think of the previous session?”
Ask About Daily Life
Questions about daily routines are great for uncovering shared interests. These topics make it easier to connect and build rapport.
Examples:
- “What’s your go-to way to relax after work?”
- “How do you usually spend your weekends?”
Seek Advice on Their Expertise
If you discover the other person’s area of expertise, ask for their perspective or advice. This shows genuine interest and helps you learn from their experiences.
Examples:
- “I’m trying to balance work and parenting—do you have any tips?”
- “How do you approach meeting new people in a place like this?”
Note: Only give advice if asked. Unsolicited advice can sometimes feel like criticism.
Compare Past and Present
Focus on how their life has evolved by comparing past and present experiences. This creates opportunities for deeper, contextually relevant conversations.
Examples:
- “How has your lifestyle changed since moving here?”
- “What differences have you noticed between this job and your last one?”
Mix Their Expertise with Current Topics
If you learn what they do for work, mix their expertise with a trending topic to keep the conversation engaging.
Examples:
- “As a cardiologist, how do you see AI influencing your field?”
- “What changes have you noticed in retail since the pandemic?”
Go a Little Deeper into Their Life
Once the conversation warms up, you can ask about personal experiences or values. These questions require some courage but can create meaningful connections.
Examples:
- “When life gets tough, what keeps you going?”
- “What’s something you’re proud of overcoming?”
Other ideas include:
- “What’s a dream you’ve held onto since childhood?”
- “If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?”
- “What’s a memory that always makes you smile on a hard day?”
Emotions Leave a Lasting Impression
Do you remember the exact conversations you had at a party a month ago? Unless you have an extraordinary memory, you’ve probably forgotten most of the details. However, what you likely do remember is how you felt during those conversations. For example, you might think, “Oh yes, I went there last year—I don’t recall much of what we talked about, but I remember feeling so happy!” Or perhaps, “I can’t remember the topic, but I felt uncomfortable, and that feeling still lingers.”
This is because emotions create strong, lasting memories in our brains. That’s why the key to making a memorable impression is focusing on how you make the other person feel. If your conversations are shallow and uninspiring, they may not trigger any emotions, leading to forgettable interactions (though shallow talk is still better than leaving a negative impression!).
On the other hand, if your conversation feels engaging and enjoyable, you’ll leave a positive emotional imprint that stays with the other person. The open-ended questions we discussed earlier are a great starting point. They help set the stage for a meaningful exchange. But there’s also the potential for something more—a deeper connection or even an unexpected insight—if the interaction leaves both of you feeling good.
For example, try asking questions that evoke positive emotions or spark the imagination. Questions like, “What’s your ideal weekend?” encourage the other person to picture something pleasant. Our brains don’t always distinguish between real and imagined experiences, so simply visualizing something enjoyable can trigger positive feelings. These positive emotions will naturally be associated with your conversation, even if the content of the discussion fades from memory.
Summary
- Focus on and listen carefully the other person. Everyone has a story worth hearing.
- Use open-ended questions to encourage meaningful and active conversation.
- Prioritize how the person feels —emotions create lasting impressions.
